Marriage and Motherhood
Nebiat, unlike other young Eritrean women her own age, did not want to conform to her family’s expectations that she marry at a young age. Her father had tried to arrange for Nebiat to marry the son of another family. But Nebiat firmly rejected her father’s wishes and returned instead to again live with her mother and sister- who had already earlier separated from her father and his family.
In 1968, when Nebiat was 20 years old, she went to live with an older sister and her family in the city of Embatikala- a seaside port on the Red Sea. Nebiat found work as a nanny with a Norwegian family. The father of the Norwegian family worked as a foreign consultant with the Ethiopian navy. One day Nebiat met a tall and handsome man dressed in a naval uniform. For Nebiat, it was love at first sight. Nebiat knew this was the man she was going to marry. His name was Gebremariam Gebremeskel. He was 28 years old and a naval officer with the Ethiopian navy- whose forces occupied Eritrea. Within a year, Nebiat and Gebremariam were married. Although Nebiat’s family initially frowned upon the relationship because Gebremariam was Ethiopian, they accepted him into the family following their marriage.
And so, in 1968, Nebiat began another chapter in her life as a new wife and a soon to be an expectant mother. She ran her own small business selling tea to passengers at the local train station. During the next few years Nebiat and Gebremariam saw their family grow with the arrival of three daughters: Ababa; Alganesh and Selam. A family with three daughters was still considered incomplete in Eritrea. Nebiat’s husband complained that he wanted a son to “complete” the family. Nebiat, wanting to provide a son for her husband, attended church asking God to give her a son. A short time later, Nebiat gave birth to the family’s only son Araya- whose name means “the example of God”.
During the next decade, life for Nebiat and her young family was secure and the family prospered. Nebiat’s mother and sister joined to live near her in Embatikala. It was a time when the Nebiat’s maternal family was together and her life was peaceful. This period of tranquility, however, abruptly changed with the outbreak of war as popular resistance to Ethiopia’s occupation of Eritrea began to grow.
In 1978, the growing civil unrest impacted many towns and cities in Eritrea. Nebiat’s husband was still a member of the Ethiopian armed forces. This made the family a potential target for anti-Ethiopian sentiments in the country. For reasons of safety, Nebiat and her family were forced to move back to Asmara, the capital city of Eritrea. Over time, the economy worsened, civil strife increased and a long drought created food shortages. No longer living near her mother and sister who had remained in Embatikala, Nebiat increasingly worried for the well-being and safety of her family.
In 1991, Nebiat and her family were forced to flee Eritrea and start a new life in Ethiopia, the homeland of her husband. The family sold all of its belongings and relocated to Addis Ababa- the capital of Ethiopia. Life in Addis Ababa was difficult as the conflict between Eritrea and Ethiopia impacted and spread into Ethiopia. Nebiat’s husband, now was in danger and became a target because he was a member of the now defeated Ethiopian government armed forces. He fled Ethiopia and sought refuge in the Sudan- leaving Nebiat to provide for herself and her young family.
