Living in Canada
For Pat, adapting to life in Canada as a newly arrived visitor in the late 1960’s was not an easy experience. She missed her family. She longed for the taste of Malaysian food and the embrace of the Malay culture and the warm weather- especially during wintertime.
Pat was certainly more fortunate than most newcomers who come to Canada. She already spoke English very well and had little difficulty communicating with Canadians. But she continued to miss her friends and family. As an outsider living in Canada, Pat has felt and continues to feel welcomed by most Canadians she has met in her adopted country. Pat recalls those early times after she first arrived in Canada when being married to Edward (a Caucasian man) caused people to stare at her and Edward wherever they went in public- especially if when entered unfamiliar stores and restaurants, etc. For example, clerks in the stores would often ignore her and speak only to her husband when they entered. It was hard for Pat to not to feel like on outsider. But these moments were not common and have become less so with the passing of the years and the increased diversity of our society.
Pat laughs now when she recalls those early days in Canada and the challenges she faced in adapting to Canada’s culture, climate, customs and, of course, those chilly and snowy winters. She recalls one incident when, shortly after her arrival in Canada, her husband Edward and his family took her shopping for her first winter coat. They had to show her how to dress for the cold Ontario winters with long underwear, mittens and a toque. Coming from a tropical climate, Pat had never seen snow before knew nothing about the different and funny clothing needed to keep warm. With winter’s first snow fall, Pat excitedly built her first snowman and played in the snow with a nieghbour’s child. Snow was something she had only seen in movies back in Malaysia. She never dreamed that one day she would play in the snow- just like a kid!
Pat recalls other unique Canadian experiences such as when her husband bought her first milkshake only to be surprised to learn that the cool, sweet and frosty beverage was not just milk that was “shaken” but actually included real creamy ice cream that came from a cow!
After marrying her first husband Edward in late 1969, Pat started to look for work. She looked after the children of her neighbors and friends and took on odd jobs to earn money and build her work experience in Canada. Pat’s husband showed her how to look for work outside the home. Together they looked up job listings in the newspaper and he would coach her and then drive her to job interviews. In 1971, Pat took a full-time job at a local hospital (Sunny Brook) working at the television rental desk. To this day, Pat credits her first husband’s guidance and care in helping her find employment and adjust to her new life in Canada.
Pat appreciates Canada and all that it has to offer newcomers. It is a country that has given her freedom and independence, both of which she did not have as a woman living in the traditional culture of Malaysia. In Malaysia, Pat could not follow all of her dreams. She respected but felt restricted by the Malay family customs, traditions and protocols that did not favour independent women. For example, she wouldn't dare be able to drive her own car and travel on her own, as she does here. In Canada she has found independence, equality and safety- safe enough to walk and drive wherever and whenever she pleases without concern.
